Reparenting the inner child

Gauri Das: A young person called on the phone: ‘I feel awful because I haven’t read many Hare Krishna books, and others have read so many. It makes me feel really bad. What should I do?’

There are many ways I could have answered this question theologically, and have in the past. It is a question that I had to answer for myself, many times. However, consider for a moment what type of relationship this young lady had with herself. Take a moment with that.

‘Not a good one’ I assume you may have thought. It is a ‘learnt’ relationship where in a situation of difference, she turned on herself like an upset parent ashamed of their underperforming child. In the mirror of herself, she was not enough, she was ashamed, and her soul felt unhappy.

When I asked her to imagine herself in years from now, to be her wisest compassionate self, how might she speak to this sad girl? In that moment she spoke perfectly, ‘I would hold her and tell her that she is a beautiful person, that I understand her pain and that everything will be okay. She mustn’t feel bad about herself’.